Of Deathgods and Madmans with Boxes
by Shirahoshi
Summary: Life isn't easy. Even if you're an overpowered substitue deathgod, who saved this world and the next one, accompanied by a little but ferocious lieutenant, and other kickass backups. Having the one and only Doctor, the last Timelord, who is sharing with your "hero" title coming into town isn't helping either.


"Doctor, where are we?" asked Amy, stumbling out of the TARDIS. It had been a ... Shaky trip. "Doctor? Doctor!"

"Ahh, sorry. Right now we're in Japan, 2003 if she didn't decide to pull a prank on us. Again."

"And... Why are we here?" They walked past several stores, before turning left.

"First of all, they say that the sunsets on the riverside is close to a magical sight and..."

"What was that?" asked suddenly the woman.

"What was what?"

"That."

Now the time lord could hear it, too - hear it? See it! It was kind of _hard _to miss the building-sized monster that appeared in the crossroad they just left behind, before giving another hungry roar and then turning towards them. Amy took a step back.

"Uhh... Doctor? Shouldn't we be like... Running for our lives?" He frowned.

"Ah... I don't know. Don't you think that something is off with this picture?"

"Nobody is running?"

"Exactly. Now, that could mean three things - one, we've hit our heads stronger than we thought and now are hallucinating the same thing; two, that something is friendly; or three, we're the only ones who can see it."

"Like Vincent did?"

"Yep."

The creature sniffed into the air, then slowly turned towards them. It growled.

People screamed as the pressure of the air movements caused by it's sudden jump shattered the windows, ending in broken glass pieces falling onto everybody who was unlucky enough to be there.

"Okay, now we can run," said the male then immediately rushed towards the end of the street, followed by the girl. They ran past several buildings, just before Amy's leg bumped into something, causing her to fall - she tried to grab the first solid thing near her, that just happened to be the Doctor's suit.

"Oh, now, that hurt... Hey, what the?" she glared at the lying body, turned onto his back by her leg. It was more than probably a teenager boy with orange hair, which, as long as she know wasn't really a common hair colour in Japan.

"Amy, we gotta go."

"He's a human, and probably fainted! We can't just leave him here!"

A big body covered the sun for a moment as the thing leaped over them.

"Let's see... A human with a delicious smeilling soul, and a not-so-human with a soul that seems to be even stronger and tastier... Now... Which one of you should I eat first?"

"Eat us?"

"I... I assure you, that although I smell delicious, my taste is horrible, so..."

"Silence! I wasn't asking your opinion."

"You've got a terrible memory,"said a nonchalant voice. "I repeat: "which one of you should I eat first".

The Doctor glared down at the boy they were holding, and the very same looking teenager who appeared in front of them with a static buzz. Amy gaped.

"But you... What the... How... What the?"

"Stay here for a sec with my body, will ya?"

"Ichigo!" the orangehead looked back.

"Rukia! Just in time."

"What the hell are you doing? Do your job already!"

"Okay, okay," growled Ichigo, although the doctor would've swear that he mumbled something fairly similiar to "bossy midget".

"So," asked the teenager later on, while sheathing (if it could be called that) his oversized

kitchen-knife like blade, as the monster behind him dissolved into nothing.

"Who are you, what are you doing with my body, and how can you see me?"

"I'm the Doctor, she's Amelia Ponds, we were trying to save your body, because she trippled over it, and aren't we supposed to be able to?"

"The Doctor. Isn't that egoist a bit? Besides what kind of doctor? The normal, or the crazy type?"

"The crazy," said Amy.

"Hey!"

"What, it's true! Tell me it's not. Anyway, that it's his name, not his title. And who are you two?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki, Substitue Shinigami."  
"Kuchiki Rukia, Lieutenant of Squad Thirtheen, currently the Shinigami of this town and his partner."

"Shinigami?" said the Doctor suddenly, as though he couldn't quite believe his own ears..

"Uhh... Yep?"

"You two are Shinigamis! Absolutely fantastic! I've heard stories about your kind, but have yet to have the chance to meet one of them! And suddenly it's two!"

"You've heard about us?"

"Of course I have! I'm over nine centuries in age, I was ought to!"

"Doctor, wait a minute... You know what's a Shinigami?"

"Yes! Amy - I introduce you the angels of death. Well, it's translated as "death god" or "soul reaper" but I think the other one describes them better. So which kind are you? The one who takes life away, the one who sends the souls over, or the one who's responsible for reincarnation?"

"What?"

"The one who sends souls over."

"Cool."

"Rukia! There are three types of Shinigamis? Why did I not know about that?"

"Because we have nothing to do with them. It's prohibited to interact with the other types, except in special cases."

"I still think I should've heard about this!"

"It's not that important."

"Then what..."

"Mommy, mommy look! The mister and the miss are talking into the air while they're holding a body!" yelled a boy, pointing a finger at them.

"Come, Takashi..." said the woman, pulling the child away.

"I think you should get back into your body," said the black haired girl - Rukia.

Something flashed as Ichigo touched his body. A moment later he stood up, dusting his pants.

"Anyway, thank you for trying to look after my body. Bye. Let's go, Rukia."

"Okay."

"Stop them!" hissed Amy.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, because you usually do that with the first people we come across?"

"Right right... Hey, wait!" yelled the Doctor. The two turned, shoting a look at them.

"Won't you even ask me where will we stay tonight?"

"Emm... Nope? There are many hotelst down the street. Besides, I don't really have any more space in my house - even my wardrobe is occupied."

"Okaaay, but aren't you interested in how do I know about the Shinigamis?"

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

"Fantastic!" yelled the Doctor as he raised a spoonful of curry into the air. "I don't even know when was the last time I ate something as good as this."

"Uhh... Thank you?" said Yuzu, slightly nervous by the situation.

"Ichi-nii, where did you get these two? I mean, the woman is ok, but that man is definitely misses something from his brain."

"I was kind of forced to bring them," whispered the orangehead back to his sister, so the two wouldn't hear him. Karin sighed.

"You and your luck."

"You could say that."

"And now, Ichigo, would you be so kind and show where will we be staying?"

"Haaaahh... Amy will be staying in my room, you get the couch. I'll use my dad's room."

"What? You'd..."

"You can leave, if you want to," scowled the teenager at the man.

"No, no... The coach will be fine."

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

"So you're trying to make us believe that one of your teachers met the old man?"

Nod.

"And that you're a time traveller."

Nod.

"Feared and loved by many through glaxies and time?"

Nod.

"And that you are the last one of these... Time-lords?

Nod.

"Okay, that is believable."

"Really?"

"Really. Like hell it is!"

_And there flies the good old desk, _thought Rukia, shooting a flat look at the said thing that appeared out of the thin air.

"People usually do not react that way. It's usually "ooooh" and "aaah"."

"Then you've obviously haven't met him yet. He did the same when I told him about the existence of the Shinigamis."

"But... He is a Shinigami, right?" asked Amy.

"Long story short, I appeared, his family got attacked, I gave him my powers, my people come for me, wanted to execute me, he saved me, later on new bad guys showed up, and when he was trying to beat the big bad main evil, turns out, his father is a Shinigami. That's why he had these kind of powers. They just had to be awakened. And I acted this kind of key-role to the door that closed away his powers."

"I... See?"

"Anyway!" clapped the Doctor. "Did anything strange happen nowadays?"

"Which one do you mean? The constant attack of the Hollows, or that there is something in town that emits enormous energy, but none of us can locate it?"

"I think the latter."

"Oh yes, then strange things happened."

"What did you see?"

"See?" She looked at Ichigo, who shrugged. "We did not see anything. It's just that one day there was a earthquake, or at least we thought it was that. But something wasn't right afterwards. The air has been tense, and it still is. And if this idiot can sense it, too, then it must be something really, really bad." She pointed a thumb towards the teen.

"Did you notice anything out of place?"

"People are disappearing."

"Disappearing?" Ichigo hung his head and clenched his fists.

"Yes. The only thing they've ever found was water."

"And how do you know about that?" asked Amy. "I mean, no offense, but I don't think they'd have let you in just like that, especially as teenagers."

"I'm at least ten times older than you are." There was a moment of silence.

"Well... You keep yourself in good shape?"

"About your question - only a very few people can see us. Therefore it wasn't much of a problem to slip by the police."

"Could you show us one of the places where it happened?"

"Sure."

"One more question - how do you know about it? I mean all of it?" A line around Ichigo's mouth hardened and Rukia's look darkened.

"One of our friends disappeared, too," she said finally.

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

It was late afternoon.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" asked the teenager as the man pointed some strange device at Inoue's door.

"Unlocking it?" Something clicked, and the black haired girl sighed.

"That was really unnecessary. We both have keys to her apartment."

"You do?"

"Yep. That'd have made me feel like we're not that much of burglars and much more like people who're trying to help."

"I don't think that you should take off your shoes," shot back the man. "I'm not sure what's going on here, but I don't really want to carry you back because of anything."

"Why? What happened here?"

"As I said, I don't know yet." He went forward three steps before turning left and jumping twice.

"What is he doing?"

"Uhh... I've got no idea."

"Ohh, lovely!" The Doctor raised his sonic screwdriver. Something gleamed in his eyes that reminded Ichigo of two crazy scientists.

"What is it?"

"Well, good news is, that your friend is more than probably alive. I did not found any remaints of human body."

"Yes, we know that she is alive, or her soul would've turned up somewhere."

"Yeah, right. Sorry, I forgot. Than here is the bad news - she might be locked in ice."

"In ice?"

"Exactly - the water _is _water, but in this case it is actually molten snow! Is there any place where snow won't melt so near to summer?"

"Almost every fridges, and some caves in the mountains for some reason..."

"Caves! I like that one." He darted towards the door.

"Doctor! Where are you going?"

"Hiking. Aren't you three coming?"

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

"Damn, it's hot," wiped his face Ichigo. "Why did we decide to come along, remind me once again?"

"In hope of finding Inoue, and because they'd get lost in the very first minute."

"Ah, right." His grip tightened around his sword. It was quite a work for Urahara to make a sword-gigai thing that can contain Zangetsu, but in the end, he managed.

"Come on, you two! We're leaving you behind!"

"Do you even know where are you going?"

"As a matter of fact- yes! You see this device?" He hold up something that resembled to a GPS. "This little beauty found the source of the energy you can feel. We're heading straight there."

"Wonderful."

"You think so? Stop!" yelled the man suddenly, spreading his arms out.

"And _now_ what happened?"

"Nothing. We are here."

"You gotta be joking."

"Am not. But I think I'll need your help with this one. Could you just kind of blast through it?"

Rukia sighed.

"Okay, everyone climb up onto a tree."

"What? Why?"

"One - I'm not letting you do it, as you'd destroy the entire mountain, two - we do not know how big the cave is, or how big crater will I create. Now, climb."

"But if you create a big crater, then it doesn't really matter how big of a... Okay, I'm climbing, I'm climbing!" yelled the boy changing his mind, because of the cold glare of his friend.

"Ahh... I really should've bring the other suit," grimaced the Doctor.

"We're about to blast a hole, and you're worrying about your suit?"

"Point taken."

"Everybody, hold onto a branch tight!" yelled Rukia. "We do not know what will happen next!"

"Okay, okay, just do it already.!"

The girl pointed her palms towards the ground, where the Time-lord marked it.

"Hadou No. 73! Souren Sokatsui!"

Birds flew up from the trees due to the detonation's power. Rukia jumped down - as the dust settled the place where her magic collided with the ground could clearly be seen, along with the at least the fifteen meters in radius big hole.

"Wow, that was cool! Shall we go in? Ladies first." Amy sighed as she grabbed the rope and slowly climbed into the cave. Soon, she disappeared in the darkness

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am! It's just a little bit cold! And I think... I'm sitting on snow..."

"Okay, who's next? Mind if I go only after you?"

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

It was true, it was snow. But how did it get in there?

"Rukia, do you sense anything?"

"Don't tell me that you don't."

"You know that I usually suck at things like that."

"True." She sighed and closed her eyes. One, two, three... Ten... She frowned. Twenty. Thirty. Thirty-one living human were here along with them and one thing, that was neither human, nor any spiritual being. The humans all grouped around the "alien".

"That way," she pointed at a corridor.

"Wait," said Amy suddenly. "Only I feel like something is watching us?"

"That's because something _is _watching us. Look there."

There frozen in the ice-like thing was a human body. She must have been beautiful once, but her beauty somewhat fadened. Rukia frowned. Why didn't she sense her?

Because she was not alive. Nor she did have a soul.

And she wasn't frozen into the wall, which was definitely not a wall, but thin layer of ice. The zombie - she couldn't find any better word - placed her hand onto the frozen water, and slowly pressed it.

"Duck!" she yelled, while pulling down the closest to her - the Doctor. The layer broke into thousands of sharp ice-pieces.

"Ichigo!"

"I know, I know!" he responded, placing Amy onto his shoulder, not caring about the woman's protest, then taking a head start towards the corridor.

"Doctor, I hope that you do not have such a male pride as he does... But please, get onto my back!"

"What?"

"Just get onto my back!"

"Okay... Woah!"

_He's lighter than expected,_ thought the girl, taking after Ichigo. They caught up with them at a crossroad, the orangehead seemingly confused.

"And now, what the hell was that?"

"A zombie," she answered, while letting go of the man.

"You gotta be..."

"I'm not joking, but it's catching up. Left!"

"So it's a quick zombie... Joy," growled the teenager. The Doctor jogged next to him.

"You've got a strong girlfriend, you know that?" Ichigo blushed, somewhat annoyed.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"You two comin'?" shouted back Amy.

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

The place was _huge, _decorated by faceless ice sculptures.

"Creepy." Ichigo nodded in agreement, then turned towards Rukia.

"So where now?"

"I don't know! They're supposed to be here... Doctor what are you doing?"

"You were not wrong, Rukia," said the man, his face sad. "They are here."

"What?"

"It can't be," whispered Ichigo.

"Oh, it can."

They spun around. In the other end of the room stood a black haired woman, paler than the snow (almost as white as the Hollow, thought Ichigo) her icy blue eyes sparkling.

"Who are you?" asked the Time-lord. "You're obviously not human, so..."

"So you've noticed? Doctor, destroyer of my sisters... You don't know how long have I been waiting for this moment..."

"Ooooh, no."

"What's wrong, Doctor?"

"Other than we're standing in the room full of ice and snow and somebody who wants to kill me can manipulate it all? Nothing, really nothing..."

"Doctor, Doctor, I did not think that you'd walk into my trap that easely..." Was it only Ichigo, or the sculptures did move?

"Yep, neither did I. RUN!"

"I don't think so, Doctor." A wall of ice covered suddenly every possible entrance. "Get them, girls!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I told you- you've killed my sisters. Five hundred years ago on the planet of Kalderra, remember?"

"And what have you done to these girls?"

"Nothing much just freed them from their misery."

"You froze them... Along with their emotions."

"Oh, my god... Inoue..." whispered Rukia. The girl would've been unrecoginizable if not for the shape of the two hair-clips. Ichigo growled.

"You're going to pay for this."

"Oh really? You know I could help you, too... You wouldn't have to worry about the other you anymore." An ice shard flew towards Ichigo, only to get knocked to the side by Rukia's blade.

"Don't lose your focus!"

"Ichigo, Rukia, Amy! You cannot let those ice shards touch you, or you'll end up in the same way as they did!"

"Great, and how do I do that?" yelled Amy, ducking behind a smaller pile of snow. "We're surrounded by ice!"

"Yes, but only the ones from her palm mean danger!" He knocked two other with a frying pan. (He brought that with himself because he saw some movie, "Tangled" and realised that they're perfect both as weapons and means of protection.)

"Oh, great, thank you!"

"Bakudo No. 63! Rikujo Kooro!" shouted Rukia, binding Orihime's body successfully. "Dance - Sode no Shirayuki!"

The air's "warmth" dropped by another few degrees - yes, seemingly it was possible - as she unsealed her sword.

"Are you really that stupid, girl? I have every ice and snow under my command!"

"Some no mai - Tsukishiro!" The woman laughed as she avoided the pillar of ice, but that didn't stop the girl.

"Doctor! What is her weak point?"

"Her heart!"

"Bakudo No. 4! Hainawa!" A chain of yellow light wrapped itself around the snow witch. "Ichigo! Now!"

"Right away! Getsuga Tenshou!"

The shriek was unearthly. The Doctor stood up as the ice sculptures stopped moving, dusting (or actually snowing) his suit.

"I've rarely won this easely."

"Doctor, what about them?" asked Amy, pointing at the frozen females.

"Them? We just have to carry them onto the sunlight and let them melt out. As long as they're ice, they have a chance to come back, unlike the one we saw earlier..." Ichigo's eyes widened.

"Carry back? You mean all thirty-one of them?"

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

"They were right, the sunset watching from here is magical."

"Yeah," nodded Ichigo in agreement, but immediately regretted it - he managed to sprain his left shoulder while carrying like the twentieth girl,and by the movement of his neck, they moved too. He frowned. "But I still don't like them."

"What? Why?"

"It's always like something is ending."

"Well, something has to end in order to let something else began. That's the great adventure of life."

"I guess it is."

"We've brought the drinks! Ichigo, put the desk together."

"What? Why me?

"You'd ask the weak girls and the guests to put it together?" glared at him Rukia. Orihime giggled.

"I've got a sprained shoulder!"

"The great hero of the Winter War, who haven't even noticed that the only thing that is keeping his body together is his spine, now is complaining about his shoulders?"

"Okay, okay," hung his head the Substitute in defeat and winced.

"Tell me, Rukia - is there a chance that I could visit Soul Society without dying?"

"There is, but I cannot let you. They were already pissed of when it first happened, and they clearly forbade me to make a habit out of bringing foreigners all the time. There are only five living human that is allowed to go."

"I see. Pity. I don't doubt, I could've meet interesting people."

"Yeah, maybe a bit more interesting than you'd want them to. One of them probably would've chased you until you do not fight him, while the other poison you to... "

"Agh! Stupid hammer!" yelled suddenly Ichigo.

"Poison me to what?"  
"That captain has a tendency to collect different species and then do tests on them, to find out every secrets of theirs."

"Ahh. That doesn't sound good."

"It certainly doesn't," said a black haired boy, putting bowls, forks, knives and so onto the now standing table.

"And you'd be?"

"Ishida Uryuu. Quincy. Sado-san asked me to tell you that he cannot come. He has to meet with his band."

"His loss then."

-.-.-.-O.o-.-.-.-

"So you're leaving?"

"Yep. Time has to go on. So... Farewell, my friends!"

They took a step back. The phone box- TARDIS - started to give out some kind of strange noise. Then it suddenly disappeared.

"Well, that was interesting for sure."

"I agree, and.. What the?"

"Pardon me, I forgot to ask you," grinned at them the Doctor, after the opened the door. "Don't you want to come in a bit?"

The two looked at each other - then Rukia elbowed Ichigo in the stomach, and rushed in.

"You dirty little cheater... Woah! It's pretty big on the inside."

"Excuse me, but... Pretty big?"

"I did not mean to... Talk about it like it's nothing," scratched the back of his neck the teenager. "But I know two places which have a basement more than ten times it's size. On the minus side they can't make those trave through time, so... This is kinda cooler."  
"It's forgiven, then." Suddenly the TARDIS started shaking. "Amy! What are you doing?"

"I did nothing! The handle suddenly moved!"

"Meaning?" hissed Rukia, holding onto the handrail for dear life.

"Meaning that you'll be coming with us this time."

-.-.-.-

**I don't really plan on continuing this... At least not for a looong time. x'D Well, maybe.**


End file.
